Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
