If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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