I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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