his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
