i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
