[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
