Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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