Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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