Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize