You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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