Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
