but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Randomize
