Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
