Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
