i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The air was thick with penises
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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