He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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