we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
