Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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