I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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