yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
This house was built for laser tag.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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