So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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