There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
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the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
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a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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