let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
