im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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