just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
