Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
im on a boat
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