found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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