i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we made out on top of his cat.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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