Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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