is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Your dad touched me again.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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