He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
