spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
