What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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