Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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