Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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