I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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