she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
