he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
