Nicole vs. Life
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
