My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
