She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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