also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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