Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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