Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
