He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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