he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
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