i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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