Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
