you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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