you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
