I swear she didn't look like that last week.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
