I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
