Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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