so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize