So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize