Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He felt like a one man threesome
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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