I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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