Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
