Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize