It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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