Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
