Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My breasts were aching with rage.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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