oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
4 words: hood of his car
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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