Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she told me i tasted like america
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
