he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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